The Mullet (picture explanation)

Since dad is fancying the site up a bit, and added a picture of me laying in bed with an interesting haircut on my chest; I will share the story of the mullet.

Before surgery I had a rather manic nurse that not everyone wanted to work with. Add to the equation a new computer system she had never used and she fell behind.  This brought in a woman that was pretty friendly but a bit annoyed to be in the presence of the hectic nurse to shave my chest for surgery. There may have also been some minor annoyance that I was au natural, a.k.a. super hairy.

She took out her kit and started to shave my right pec.  As she shaved she created a line just left of center.  I asked what she was going to shave, and she said matter-of-factly, “from centerline right, down to the navel.” I said, “that is going to look a bit ridiculous; could you just shave it all.” She explained that she was not allowed. Due to lawyers and litigation the hospital only wanted shaved anything necessary for surgery. If she shaved extra territory not needed for surgery, and a small nick got infected they could be sued. Case was closed.

Once all the loose hair was pulled up with masking tape I was shipped to surgery. After surgery I spent three days in the hospital. The first time I saw myself in a mirror I noticed the cut was even a bit more ridiculous than even expected. She left a little strip of hair across just below my collar bones and one across the bottom of my belly…not to mention the ring of hair just down the rabbit hole that is my belly button.  An interesting “C” of hair.

With each new nurse I would introduce them to the fact that I was hilariously shaved so they would not have to snicker out of earshot. It became the new thing introduced from one nurse to the next with each change of shift.  It was not something anyone, nurse or family, was shy to tease about.

Every morning about 6 AM the lady with the cart who drew the blood would come in and pull what was ordered for tests for the day. Shortly after, my night nurse would come by to check on me, change my IV, and give me any meds I needed.  Each morning that meant a shot of blood thinner. I had a very nice nurse each night that I got used to chatting with.  That morning she walked to my left side with my shot and as I moved the gown to expose my belly I said, “going to get my shot on the wild side today, huh.” She laughed and said, “your chest was shaved into a mullet! Party on the left, business on the right!”

And that was how my chest haircut began being referred to as a mullet.

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